Heartbreak

You may be curious about this title but I am going to put it out there. As most of you know that this past year I went through a divorce. It took me a good while to get myself over the divorce and just work on myself. I had to make sure that I healed and was truly ready for the next relationship. Well after being down here in Texas for a while I felt I was ready to start putting myself out there and getting to know people. I wasn't ready to jump right in but at least be friends with the person and see if something more develops. So I am going to kinda to go into some detail about this experience I have had. Yes there is a chance that the other person involved may be reading this but at this post I don't care. While I have been working at my job I have gotten to know some new people and also made some really good friends. One of them of course was a male and over the course of this we really got to know it each other. Of course, I fell for him. He was so easy to talk and just was someone different. I really started to feel something for him when we went to Schlitterbahn. Just felt some sparks that day for some reason. Well the weekend we went to Austin, it was me, him and another friend. Well he and I drove up together and like normal were talking just having a good time. We went to the club and we all started drinking having a good time. As the night progressed I felt like he and I were being really flirty towards each other and always being kinda close with each other. After we go out, we always go to Ihop and on the car ride there and then the car ride back to the place that we were staying at he had his arms around me the whole time. When we got back to work that week he was different and was kinda a jerk towards me. We had a talk and things were cool for a day. Then some other things happened and I was just hurt. So after that I choose to ignore him, at the time it was the only thing I knew to do because I didn't know what to say or do. I ended up just emailing him putting everything out there and how I felt. I was completely honest with him. It took him almost three weeks to get back to me on what I had sent to him. During this time our friendship really suffered, which sucked. When he did get back to me he let me know that he had a lot going on with his life, which I understand and that if he hurt me he never meant to. It sucks because he did whether he realizes it or not. At this point in the game we dont really talk anymore like we used to and I am working on picking up the pieces again. I just wish I could find someone I start getting to know and possibly have that relationship with. I never wanted to have another broken heart so quick. Sometimes I wonder if I am not meant to find love again or find that special someone. It really sucks seeing all these people around me so happy and some are now starting families. I wish that could be me. But this was a lesson for me and maybe something good will come along.

Song of the Day

So my song of the day is another country song. It is by Lady Antebellum and the name of the song is Need You Know. Just something about the song kinda rings out to me. I guess this song plays into with the marriage right after he left is he ever thought about me. Then the song plays into the part of the guy I was interested in a little bit ago. So I putting the song up with the lyrics.


Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I cant fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

Its a quarter after one, Im all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldnt come, but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, cant stop looking at the door.
Wishing youd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

Its a quarter after one, Im a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Yes Id rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
Its a quarter after one, Im all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldnt call but Im a little drunk and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now

Self Esteem

With everything that has happened to me in the past year my self esteem has been shot. The two biggest things that have caused me to lose it are the hair lost that I have had and then the divorce. Mainly the issue is that I don't feel pretty anymore. I was with someone when I was losing my hair and he saw me go through this process. Now my hair is starting to grow back and I still have some bald spots and they are covered right now. I am hoping that by next year it will be all the way filled in. Though I am not as bald as I was by the end of last year, I still don't feel very pretty. I know people say that hair is not that important but to me it is. I don't feel pretty or beautiful at all. Everytime when I go out I still feel like people are staring at me and they can see the bald areas. Most of it is in my head but it is so hard to shake. Going through such a physical change plays on your emotions and it has really played on my self esteem too. I am getting back into the dating scene and I am really worried and afraid that guys are not going to understand my health situation. Also I worried that no one is going to find me beautiful because of the missing hair. I just want a guy to be like wow you are gorgeous with how I look now. I want someone to look at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world instead of stares like I am a freak. Maybe something will change and I will feel gorgeous no matter what. And I am trying to work on not to let this work me up and I wont have any issues. Maybe that's why I am having trouble with the dating scene is because I am not confident in myself. I just can't wait till the next man comes along and just makes me feel the most beautiful woman in the world.

Glee

Every season there always some new tv shows that are debuted. Most of them I watch the first episode and then after that I pass on because I just can't get excited about. Well this year Fox has come out with Glee. And it is is a show that I love. It is a just a great show about a high school glee club and also the challenges of high schoolers. Fox has picked out a great cast and I really love that fact that they can actually sing too in real life. And the songs that they pick out and redo are great!! I sometimes like their versions better. If you have seen the show again you should go to hulu and get yourself caught up on the show. I am telling you will be loving it by the end of the first episode. Here are some of the clips of them singing.


Bust a Move


Sweet Caroline


Golddigger


Alone

Saturday Night Live

I am a big fan of Saturday Night Live. My favorite episodes are from the 90's with people like Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Dana Carvey, Chris Farley, Rob Schneider, and David Spade and then the early 2000's with people like Molly Shannon, Will Ferrell, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon. Those seasons had such a great cast and so many funny sketches. As the years went on the sketches were funny but there weren't as many and sometimes not altogether funny, just bits and parts. This new season has started and it has been ok with the celebrity hosts and some funny things. I was really looking forward to last nights episode. Last night was one of my favorite celebrities was not only the musical guest but she was the host as well!! I am talking about Ms. Taylor Swift. I had been reading about her hosting and how excited she was to be hosting. And let me say this, last night was one of my favorite episodes so far!! I could not stopping laughing and have it saved on my dvr to watch a couple more times. I thought I would post some of my favorite clips of the night.

First is her opening monologue. I thought it was very creative.


The next one is the one were she is doing a driving PSA.


The first sketch she did of the night was were she was on The View as Kate Gosselin.


And my last favorite of the night was the Penelope sketch.


All the sketches were great but those were my big favorites of the night. You can check out the rest out at hulu.

So

So I know I would have some blogs up by Monday but I am completely wiped again and I havent been feeling good. Hopefully I start feeling back to normal so I can post everything

Too Long

So wow I was looking and it was back in the middle of October since I have last posted. Things have been just been crazy and I having been feeling run down again. I have been taking my medicine because that always helps but I am still feeling run down. I am working on some new posts about the last couple of weeks and weekends, opening my heart back up and dealing with that feeling, the next edition of the people in my life, how I have been feeling with some other things, and then have some new posts that I am trying to work on the other blog as well that I can't post on here. So tomorrow night I should have a good amount done on here. So thats a bit in a nutshell.

Back when

So here is another round of back when. With this entries I am trying not to skip years when I do pick but I may have to. I am not sure, if I get comments to skip then I may do that.

This one comes from 11-10-96. Again I am back in the 8th grade.

After our puppet show we went back to the Limpers' house. It was fun. We made cinnamon and sugar doughnuts. Then we played hide & seek in their house. Neil and I were a team. We talked alot. I like him. But I like Brandon the most. He is so cute and sweet. He treats me like a queen. He has these beautiful blue eyes so I call him Blue Diamond Eyes. He is so cute! We write each other notes. I write him the most. I will ask him to go see or do something with me like a movie, skating, etc. If we do, we will have alot of fun. I know it. We always do Journal!! Well got to go Journal. More later.

Heather.

I think it is so funny how I write these entries. But I can remember those days spending time at the Limpers. We used to have the best times at their house. And the funny thing is I remember that day. At the time I had the biggest crush on this guy and thought he was something great. I am glad to know this family and glad to have them in my life during that time.

STRESS

Yes I did capitalize that post! And there is a reason why it is capped, just have a lot and I mean lot of stress going on in my life these last couple of weeks!! First part of my stress is work. I have worked in a call center before and it was pretty easy with handling the customers. I mean you knew they were either going to call about benefits or claims. Now with this call center I am dealing with cell phones and plans. And you don't know what the next call is going to be. Sometimes they are easy calls sometimes they are hard or off the wall calls. Some days are good some days aren't. I am trying to let it roll but so hard!! Today was a bit better, I don't know if it was because we were slow or if I am getting more used to the calls and how to do the things.

Then the stress I have been dealing with is my car. Before I left for Texas I had over a $1000 dollars worth of work done to my car. Thought it would be all taken care of not having any problems at all! Well my brother had noticed that is was leaking oil but we watched it and wasn't for awhile. Then last week I did notice it really was so I took in to a local car place. Well turns out I have a cracked gasket, luckily in the front, and it was around $200 to get it fixed. Well Friday night I found when I went to move the car that it was leaking gas! Are you kidding me just what I need?? So we take it to the place again and they just thought the tube was loose. Well then it turns out the gas tank is cracked and I am going to need a new one. Plus then we get a car and the hose is bad as well. So another expensive repair. I am tried of putting money in my car to fix it and then it keeps having problems. I so wish I could afford a new car right now but I can't. So that is my next thing I am saving for. So luckily during this I have great parents and a really great brother who have been really supportive during this. My brother has been so great even though he has an emotional sister to deal with. I felt so bad always crying about it but he has been so reassuring about making sure I am taken good care of! And this is why I am glad I moved down here!

The last stress is getting back in the dating pool and dealing with the opposite sex. I mean there is nothing more to say with that but I am just hoping things can go better.

So there is my stresses for the week. I am working on trying not to let things bother me because I think that is part of the reason for my hair loss that happened last year. My hair is finally growing back slowly and I really dont want to be back in a wig again. I just want to look like before I lost it all. So I hope you all have a great week.

Back when

So when I was cleaning I found some of my old journals from back in high school and some of them are pretty funny. I think I am going to share a couple! Ok this one is back from 11-2-96 and I was still in 8th grade.

Halloween was a blast. I got a lot of candy! (Ok let me interrupt here yes in 8th grade I still tricked or treat. That was the last year because my Grams put her foot down the next year. Her neighborhood is a nice part of town and they gave out great candy so I had fun and I don't care) The next night I went skating with Brandon. It was so much fun. I love him so much!! (It's funny how in 8th grade we think we know what true love is) About Tracy's Halloween party it was on October 25. We did the Macerana, YMCA, Mucho Man, and more. Then Jessie hooked me up with Brandon. Brandon and I danced and the group played Truth or Dare. Brandon kissed me. We got a big group dance to "One Sweet Day". It was a blast!! Sad news: Tracy is moving on Nov 29. Sob!! Yesterday was Brandon's and my one week anniversary! We are going skating Monday with the youth group and Tim is going to be there. Oh No! Well got to go!!
Heather

I know look back on this and laugh! I was so worried about an ex being there with a new boy. And I was just so boy crazy during that time. So this one kinda funny but I guess not. I am going to try and find some more to show you all how I was back then plus helps me to rememeber things too

Song of the Day

So another round of songs that I like and have been stuck in my head. I just dont feel like going into detail rather let you enjoy them.

The people at work got me hooked on this song

Just love her new single!!

Heard this at the club too and have it stuck in my head!!

In Remembrance

So I have posted things on my facebook page and change the photo for today but for me is today is a day of remembrance. Nine years ago, my family lost a great man. That man was my Grandpa Wiemer. My grandfather was a great father, grandfather, uncle, brother and man all around. I have so many great memories of my grandfather. Some of my favorites were all the small trips and the 2 big trips to Disney World that he and my grandmother took me on when we were younger. He took us to places like Noveau, Illinois to see the old Mormon settlement, Lake of the Ozarks, Santa Claus, Indiana to name a few. I used to love all of our small trips we always had a blast going to that place and doing what we could from shows, amusement parks, water parks, miniature golf, etc. I think by the time we got back he would be more worn out than we were. I remember when he first took us down to Disney World. It was the greatest experience for us kids being a place designed for fun, excitement and imagination. I love watching the video from our trip and seeing how goofy he was with us. Another great memory of him was he taught me how to swim in the Kaskaskia River. He had me behind the boat and was teaching me to put my face in the water and come up and down out of it. Well the one time I came up I hit my mouth on the edge of the boat and chipped my tooth (I will always have that reminder). He felt so bad that it happened but in the end I am grateful that he took the time out to teach me to swim and love the water. Thats where I would spend alot of my summers was out at their clubhouse (later turned home) and we would go out on the river, played on the beach, swam and sometimes I would go fishing with them. Another favorite is that he would do anything for us kids, two examples on this. The first is when we took a Wiemer family trip to Kentucky Lake and we found a miniature golf place that week and we loved to play there. One this day my brother really wanted to go and play end though it was raining. My parents didn't want to stop because of the rain but my grandpa ended up stopping since Jonathan wanted to play. Boy did we have the best time playing!! I still look at those pics and think about how much fun we had. The other memory is when we would have family BBQs even if no one else wanted to play Grandpa would go out and start a softball game. Eventually the whole family would be out there playing and having a great old time. He would always let us win and those days would always be the best. As we got older thats when he started to get sicker but during that we would always joke he was like the energizer bunny. He kept going and going despite what happened to him. But my senior year is when I think he just up. My grandpa was a very strong man and I don't think he liked the fact that he had to rely on someone else to help take care of him. I can still remember today being in class getting the phone call that he was not doing well and if I wanted to come up to the hospital. Of course I did I wanted to say good-bye one last time. Even though he was in a coma when we got there I think he heard us say our final goodbyes to him. I miss getting to hear him tell us his stories about his life and about my mom and brothers growing up. He was a goofball, always being a jokster a times! He would do anything for anybody. The only regrets I have is that 1) I didn't get to spend more time with him and really start to enjoy all the things he had to talk about and 2) is that he never got to meet his other two grandkids, Emily and Josh. I know he would enjoy having another two in his life just like enjoyed having my brother and me for all those years. Today is greatly missed and not forgotten!! I can't wait to meet him and heaven and get to talk to him again! I know you have been watching down on us and I am sorry this year I can't come and talk to you like I normally do but I hope next year I can get that chance! I love you Grandpa!


My grandma lighting my grandpas remembrance candle at my wedding. I like to think that day he was with us in spirit even though he couldn't be there in body!

Song of the Day

So there are a few songs that have been stuck in my head so I am just going to post them and let you enjoy them.

This has been stuck in after we went to Grahams.

Just like the song


So I hope you enjoy these songs I have since they have been stuck in my head

My Important People - I

So I think for the months leading up to Thanksgiving I am going to do a post about people that are really special in my life and why. For this first installment I am going to talk about my family. And for this one it is the 3 people that I have spent most of my life with. I am talking about my father, my mother and my brother.

Why these people are near and dear to me:

My Father - My father is quite a character!! If most of you know my father he can be a goofball but I love him for that. There is never a dull moment with him and sometimes you need him to be goofy just to cheer you up when you are down. You never know whats coming from him whether it be a mullet wig and crazy hat for Thanksgiving breakfast or wearing a Mickey mouse bow tie on his daughter's wedding day. My father is also a godly man which has been a blessing and I didn't realize how much this meant to me till I was older. I have grown up in church all my life and sometimes would hate being the pastor's kid. But my father was just doing what he was called to do and he has such a great and mighty faith! I know that God gave him all the great wisdom in the world to raise my brother and I in the best way possible. One of my favorite things that I did with my dad is our Friday night father/daughter date nights at the racetrack. Its how we grew to love racing and through that we have something that I am so proud to be a part of, which is our raceway ministry program. My father is a loving, caring, generous, non judging and always there for me no matter what. I always be a daddies girl and nothing will ever change that.

My Mother - I did do a post about what I love about my mother on her birthday but I will again state why I love her. My mother is first such a godly woman and I am very glad that God gave these two people as my parents. She has always tried to teach me right from wrong even though at times I had to learn those lessons on my own. She has been there to pick me back up when I needed it even though she thinks sometimes she should have let me fall and pick myself back up. But at times I needed her to pick me back up. I have so many of the same similarities as my mother now and I am quite proud of it. She is a caring woman, always there for people, helpful, loving, honest godly, and friendly people that you will ever met. As I get older I realize I am more and more like her everyday. My mother has truly been my rock this past year. She has given me so much support through the losing of my hair, my other sickness and the hardest thing, my divorce. Without her I don't know I would done through all of this. Not only is she my mother but she has become one of my best friends and I love that we can have a relationship like this. She is always a rock when times are tough and I know if she can be that strong throug things so can I.

Last but not least, My Brother - My brother is the baby in the family but sometimes I think he should have been the older one. Not because of that he acts older and I dont, which that is not the case. Just for the fact that he is 23 going on 24 but sometimes he has more wisdom on things than I could ever dream of. Growing up alot of the time we didn't get along but about his 8th grade year/ my junior year we started to have a close bond partly to the fact that we had the same group of friends. But I am glad we did because it helped out growing up. At times I became the protective big sister and he the protective younger brother. He could spot a crappy boyfriend a mile a way and most of the time I wouldn't listen but now that I am older I really have began to rely on his feedback and comments on things. I am glad that I moved down with him because we really have began to bond more as brother and sister. I want us to have a close relationship because if God forbid anything happens to my parents he is the only person I have. And I want to be in his life and he in mine. He is such a great brother and even though our relationship suffered for a while things are getting right back on place. He is like my father as being a godly man, he has the Doussard sense of humor but he is there whenever needed.

I love my family. I mean really words can't describe everything I feel for them but I am glad I have them in my life. Next on the list will be my grandparents!!

More to come

So like I said I have been busy with work and doing things on the weekend plus being sick. I have some more posts to put on here. My 2 month review of Texas, some songs that have been sticking in my head and some other ramblings I have going on. Now that I am a pretty normal schedule I can try and knock a couple out of the park a night. Heading to bed, night all!!

Where is

Where oh where has Heather been?? Well lets see...... working like a dog, sick and been busy on the weekends!! The weekend of the 12th of September I went out with some of co-workers to celebrate my friend Jodi's birthday. We went to a bar in Waco called Wild West . It reminds me of Wild Country in Collinsville, IL. It was the same type of club where they play country music and some more popular music as well. I had a drink there called Kryponite. It reminds me of the Recliner at Big Daddies in Belleville. This drink had Midori, Blue Coraco, orange juice, spirit and some other liquor. Then they put a glow stick in it to really show the color. It was such a great drink.I had a couple of those that night. I really enjoyed spending time with my friends from work and getting to know a couple of them really well. You can check out the pics here. Then the next weekend I got to go to Schlitterbahn, one of the great waterparks in Texas!! I went with two friends of work. I had so much fun with my friends and plus they had so many rides. The park is broken down into three sides and you have to take a tram between them. This park has been featured on the travel channel several times and I got to ride one of the newest ride The Dragon's Revenge. It is a water rollercoaster I could have ridden that ride several times unfortunately we got to the park late because I went the wrong way for a little bit and then there was an hour wait for it. By then it was getting close to park closing time. So I am glad we got to go and thinking I may get a season pass. It is so great you can bring in coolers and have whatever food or drink you want. And plus a ton of tables so no one really messes with your stuff. Then this past weekend has been a great weekend for me. At work it was our last week of training which the 5 weeks have flown by so fast!! I can't believe how quick it went. Friday we had our graduation ceremony, got our t-shirts and was ready to get out of there. I am glad we don't have the 4 pm to 12:45 am shift anymore. With transition we are on a more normal schedule. Then this weekend I went to the Austin area with Aaron and Jodi, my friends from work! We went to a bar called Grahams. This was a celebration of graduating and surviving our 5 weeks of training. I have such a good time with these two. I wish our other friends could have been there with us! But they had other things going on. This place was cool because they have 6 clubs in one. They have Alley Cats, which is a karoke bar, Choppers,which is more rock, Wild Cats, which is like Coyote Ugly, Club Z, which plays todays hits and it has cages and a pole that you can dance in, then Live Room, plays live music but none going on this weekend and the last one is Denim & Diamonds, which is another country bar. Again reminds me of Wild Country from back home. It was nice just to hang out and chill. I may post pics of that on here not sure yet. So the last couple of weeks has been really good. The only negative is being sick with a sinus infection and trying to get used to a new schedule. We started transition today which I like because it is a normal schedule but dont like taking calls. Hopefully it will get better as time goes on. So that is it in a nut shell!!

Happy Anniversary

So today is a semi hard day for me! Two years ago today I married the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Well as you all can tell I am no longer with that man. No matter what happened with he and I, I will always love him. He was my first husband, the first man I really made lots of plans about our future with. He has moved on and now dating someone else. I really hope that this new girlfriend is what he is looking for and makes him completely happy. Yes I can say that now about him because even though I hate what happened between us and hurt by the whole situation but I have moved on and I only want the best for him even if it isn't me. This situation has been entirely hard for me alot of times very emotional but I have had a great support system through all of it! I really could not have done without all of my friends and family especially my mom! During this time I relied alot of her and she really has became more than a mother to me, she has became one of my best friends. I am so thankfully for that and will value that relationship forever. I am also glad that even though Mike and I divorced that it would be weird when I saw his parents but it has not been that way at all. I still talk to my ex-mother in-law and ex-sister in-law. I will always have love for them. So today I look back on this day with happiness from all the fond memories there will always be a sadness for the love that was lost and the hearts that were broken. Mike I wish you nothing but the best. I hope that life treats you well and you find all the love and happiness you deserve. As for me I have moved on, put the past behind me, learned from that experience and ready for the next relationship that comes along.

1st Month

So this marks my first official month down in Waco. It has been a fun, exciting, emotional and very stressful time while being down here. So I decided for this post I would do some pros/cons of being down here. I am going to start with the things I don't like down here first.

DISLIKES
- Not alot of radio stations down here. There are some good stations down here but most of the stations are a Hispanic radio stations. I don't mind that music but unfortunately I don't know alot of Spanish so hard to understand what they are singing about. And then the rest of the stations either hardly comes in or is just all together static. I miss my Z1077, 92.3, 93.7 and 100.3. So lately I have been listening to alot of cds.
- No cable!! My brother doesn't not have cable at his house, so if I want it I am going to have to get it myself. So it is has been hard not watching my shows and I am really struggling to make sure most of my network shows I can watch on their websites, like Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Big Bang Theory, etc. This one has been kinda nice too but more I am really missing it.
- The roads here can drive a person nuts. Especially the side roads off of the highway, they are only one way even though they have two lanes so if you need to get to other side of the you have to find a street that does a roundabout to get there. It does take some time to get used to find and find those round abouts but in the end it gets easier.
- The water. The water here stinks!!! And sometimes I mean that literally!!! I know in the town where I work the water really stinks and even has made the toilets all brown looking. In Waco where we are at, it just has a weird taste. We even have a Brita system and it still has a weird taste. I miss the water back at home sometimes.
- The full bath in the house. One thing is that we don't have a vent in there so we have to open the window to help the steam go out. Well with the Texas heat the steams go out but it is still so hot and the mirrors are all fogged up. Also with the window if you try and open the window while the water is running or you are in any where near water you will get shocked. It drives me nuts so half the time I have to use a towel to open it.
- The schedule for training. Right now we are going to 4 pm to 12:45 am. It is wearing me out. I am used to staying up late but I think what it is the mentally I am not used to learning this late. When I get home I am tired but not sleepy enough. So half the time I am up till 2 or 3 am and then sleep until 12 or 1 pm in the afternoon. I have to get up and get ready for work by then. I am so glad that we are getting closer to our transition period because then we are working 12:15 to 9:15 pm. So it will be a sense of normalcy.
That is about all of the dislikes. Now on to my likes or the pros of Waco.

LIKES
- I love being back down in Texas!! I miss being in my home state. The people here are so friendly!!
- The food!! There are so many great restaurants down here! And when going for Mexican food, you are more than likely going to get real authentic Mexican food. Plus there are so restaurants down here that we don't have in St. Louis like Whataburger, Cheddars, Carino's, even our CiCi's is better down here. I am surprised I haven't gotten fat yet!!
- Blue Bell ice cream!! It is a creamery ice cream and every month they have different flavors besides their standard. I am looking forward to their Key Lime Pie when that comes out. So far I have really enjoyed their strawberry cheesecake and their Neapolitan ice cream. I have been enjoying it so much.
- Having family down here. I love being down here with my brother though lately I haven't gotten see him because of him working and school and my work schedule. I know once I get into our transition period and then a regular schedule I will get to see him more. I am looking forward to be able to get closer to him. Also I have gotten to connect with my 2nd cousins and a third cousin. They have been so welcoming and have just been there if I needed it. It really helped me out the first couple of weeks.
- Well this is kinda of a plus for later on in the year but the weather!! I am really enjoying it staying warm. And from what I have been told that our winters here aren't much of anything so for me I hate snow!! So not having snow and maybe a couple weeks of cold weather I am all for!!
- There always seems like there is something going on this town!! Whether it is a festival, a fair, college football, or just something little you can find something to do. If not Dallas/Fort Worth is about an hour and half, and I think Austin is two hrs so it really isn't too bad!!
- Dr. Pepper Museum ENOUGH SAID THERE!!!
- Making friends down here. I have met some great people through my brother and then with work have made some great friends there as well. I have been trying to do something on the weekend. Which has really helped out and not sitting around and being bored.
- Finally starting to really heal. It has been hard trying to just heal and not be so upset over things or just so angry. Holding that all in is not good for me and lately I have been able to let some things go and forgive some people. I know that next Tuesday will be hard but I am trying to really work now on it so I won't be miserable. But being down here also I have been able to focus on myself and learn what kind of person I am and what I want from the next one. I think soon I will be ready to start dating. I don't want to start dating and realize I am not ready. Not fair to that person.

Well thats all of the things I can think of for now but I know being down here longer I will come up with more. I am looking forward to seeing where this journey will take me and see how things turn out!

Song of the Day

So this song came up the other day on my pandora and it is a song that I really enjoy and then when this person was honored later on CMT show. The song I am talking about today is Alan Jackon's "Drive". I really like how he remembers about learning to drive with a fishing boat and then driving an old truck. And talking about teaching his girls to drive later on in life. I know I remember learning how to drive a car from my parents as well some of my other family members. One of my favorite memories was when my grandma lived out in the country they had an old truck and we had gone someplace but my uncles let me drive it around the block of their house and I ended up driving the truck in the ditch. Luckily it wasn't a very big ditch and we got it out alright. So here is Alan's version.

Then on the CMT show honoring Alan, Taylor Swift sang this song. I hate to say this but I think I like Taylor singing it better than Alan. She is so cute singing this and I wish I had her talent.

Week in review

So my week in review is kinda of boring but thought I would let you all know. So I don't know if I put in my last blog but I have gotten a job. I am not going to put where on here. I don't need the whole world looking for this company, trying to find out more info etc. Right now I have training for 5 wks M-F from 4 pm to 12:45 am. That is the part that is killing me. The time I leave work I am so worn out but I am not tired enough to go to bed so then I am up later and then I sleep later. The other day was till 12:30. Then after we get done with training we have a transition period and right now they aren't sure if it is going to be 2 wks or 4. With that we will be on the normal hours of the company which I will be glad to go back to. The only thing I don't like is that they are open on Sunday and I have been looking forward to finding a church down here and start to get involved in that church. So I am just going to have to work my butt off so I can get Sundays off!! Well I am planning to work my butt off so I can move up in the company. This is a place where I can easily move up in the company as long I do well and do not mess up my attendance. With this job I get benefits again, which I really need in case something would happen to me I am not getting screwed by paying an arm and leg, 401k plan, tuition reimbursement. I am planning on going back to school in the spring semester and so that way I start working to finish up my degree. I really would love to work for NASCAR doing public relations but if not public relations for any company. With this job, I am really enjoying the 20-25 minute drive I am having. Where when I worked in Missouri it was an hour drive and sometimes longer if there were any accidents and rush hour traffic. Here there is not a lot of traffic at all!! Other than that I haven't been doing much else. With the training class I am making some new friends. Hung out with one last night out in the ex-presidents home town of Crawford. I can see why he is out there, hardly nothing at all. Tonight I am hanging out watching movies and catching up on laundry. Well thats it for my week I will try and finish up the last couple posts I want to make on here and then I need to work badly on my other blog. I still need to send the rest of you the invites who said they wanted to read it so please don't think I have been ignoring you.

Happy Birthday

I just wanted to take this time out to wish a very special special woman a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! That woman is my mother!! My mother is someone I look up to and been a great role model for me growing up. She is such a strong, loving, caring, giving woman who has been there for me no matter what. Especially this past year she has been such a great rock and support for me. She has been with through all of my doctor appointments, helping me through my divorce, just being a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her not only in my life but also if she wasn't my mom. I am a little disappointed I could not be there to help her celebrate. I know there will be other times. I love you MOM!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Week Review

So a review on how my first week went in Waco. The first thing I did was got to know there area and how everything is connected. It is very confusing and drives me nuts. Luckily I have quickly caught on how to get to most places and have only gotten lost a few times. I still need to go downtown and find the library. I also need to get a Texas id. I am waiting to get my Texas drivers license till I know I am going to be down here awhile. I have been looking for a job and applying to places like crazy. So hopefully something comes soon, I hate not working. I have been trying to help out around the house by cooking dinner, doing dishes, and doing laundry/ironing. Then this past Saturday I got to meet up with my second cousins and my third cousin who are living down here. Jonathan had called them to ask them about church Sunday since my 2nd cousin is a pastor of one of the local Methodist churches in the area. It turns out they were going to dinner at Chipotle, which I like the Chipotles up norht better, and I met up with that night. Later went over to their house and hung out and caught up. I haven't seen them in forever and it was so nice to see them. Then Sunday we went to the church and enjoyed listening to him preach. He reminds me of how my dad preaches. They originally were not going to be able to lunch with us but were able to pull some things since they also had old friends in town so we went to a place called Rosie's, where it was cheap but decent Mexican food. Later went back to their house and hung out some more. It has been good week and hoping this week goes even better. I am hoping I get a job here soon! Night all

Divorce Cakes

Divorce cakes are now becoming a popular thing to have when women get divorced. More and more are having divorce parties celebrating their divorce and having funny cakes. I got an email with some pictures of divorce cakes and thought I would share with you.










Some of these are really cute and I could think of some other cute ones!

Looking for Love

So another post for today and it is all about love!! No I am not in love, I wish I was in love again. It is something I keep dealing with daily. I lost love earlier this with the divore. I will always love my ex, he was my husband nothing can ever change that. Now I am starting to heal and at a point that I am ready to at least start going out with new people, start to get them, and just really start to become friends with them. I think for right now I need to take it slow. I don't want to date someone and realize I wasn't ready to date and hurt them in the process. But if something down the road were to happen I wouldn't object to it. I hate seeing all this people with someone and I long for that day when I have someone again! After being married, I miss coming home to someone, cuddling in the couch just watching tv, cuddling in bed, talking about our day, someone holding my hand, the simple kiss, romantic moments. Now it is just me, no one else. I miss that and fine it really hard when I see my brother or friends with their signficant others. I know when I do start dating someone I am going to start looking at them as can I get serious with them. I know I will want to get remarried again and I am 26 I am not at a point that I want to date a ton of different people and just happy dating. I want to get married and start a family. Ready for my parents to become grandparents and my brother to be an uncle. It's just hard and I know I will find that man who make me happy, ready to start a family and love me for me. It is just been a hard road right now and I am ready to get off. Maybe one day it will come but I guess for now I will just stay on it.

On another note, I will posting blogs, PROMISE, on the personal blog, and sending out some more invites for that one. Also will try this weekend to finish getting the layout right on this blog. So hopefully I will get this all accomplished!

Song of the day

So driving home from turning in applications, I heard a song I probably have heard since 8th grade. It is by a group Freak Nasty and the song is the Da Dip. This immediately reminded me of all the 7th & 8th grade dances we had. I remember all of us girls making sure we had a date for the dance but then when it came time a few of us had our dates there and the rest of us would just be by ourselves for some reason. I think out of the dances I had a date there twice. Anyways most of the time, we would all just group dance and when the slow songs would come on we would get goofy and dance with each other too. I wish I had pictures from these days. I had great group of friends and loved those dances. So hopefully this video will bring up some memories for you!!

Another Dislike

So another dislike I have about Waco. Back on home and if you are on a side street, cars can go both ways. In Waco, nope the two lanes are for cars going one way only. It drives me nuts that I have to figure out a way to get to the side of the street I need to be one. Sometimes I have loop around a million different streets!! Why can't you make things easier!!! So there is my rant for the day!

I wish....

I wish I had more hours in the day. Right now there is so much I want to write but just don't have the time or easily get distracted. Maybe tomorrow night I can get all the blogs I want done done.

New Home and Church

So finally the post about my new home. The city of Waco is crazy on how the homes are set up in areas. The house that my brother bought is in a really nice area and the less expensive homes then the street behind has some really expensive homes. It is crazy, my brother said some of the homes behind us are half a million dollar homes. I couldn't believe it, at home they would be in a neighborhood all in itself. Here are the examples of the homes I am talking about:



Now for our house, it is really cute!!

It is a 3 bedroom home with 1 full bath and 2 half baths, then we have of course a living room, dining room, laundry room and I think it used to be the garage but it is a den. I have the smallest room out of the lot, which is fine by me. I needed to learn to live with less. In my old house I had a ton of stuff but alot of it was just junk. I mean when I moved out of my house I took what I thought was less to my parents house since I didn't know if I was going to be there or not. And even then I still had to purge things and I still have a storage shed with some items. There are some cons about this but that is because it is an older house. I am having to relearn that I have to actually wash my dishes, this place doesn't have a dishwasher. Then the other thing is the full bath it doesn't have a fan so we have to open the window to help the steam go out. The thing with that is if you are in the shower and the water is running or there is water in the tub then you get shocked opening the window. It drives me nuts and I hate getting shocked. Other than that things have been great. I am getting to learn the area.

Then Sunday I went to church with Jonathan, more of this I want to talk about is the Catholic church we went to. I am not Catholic and neither is my brother but he helps tape their service. It was the St. Louis Catholic church and this church was gorgeous!! I forgot to get pics of the outside but I did of the inside. The architecture of the church was amazing and they have such gorgeous stain glass work. Here are some pics of it.







I wish I had a better camera so you can really see how beautiful the stain glass was. If I was Catholic I would love to get married in this church. So it was nice just looking at the church while the service was going on. Well I hope that I will have more adventures and stories for you guys here soon!!

Song of the day

I was watching 27 Dresses the other day and I love the part where they are in the bar and start singing Benny and The Jets. It has been stuck in my head and for some reason I keep wanting to sing along to it. So I hope you all enjoy it!!

My Trip

So I am finally on my computer and uploaded my pictures from the drive down here. On Wednesday we left my parents house in Shiloh. My mom did most of the driving on our trip down there. And I like when I was a child did alot of napping in the car. Most of the car ride I was asleep, there is something about a car ride that makes me extremely tired. And with me napping I didn't get a lot of photos but I did get some. To head to Texas we headed through Missouri first.

The hills of Missouri, I saw alot of it. I don't know I liked seeing all of the different formations and how they just came out of no where.

The hills of Missouri, if I would ever retire I think I would retire in the hills. The views are amazing and I would love to watch the colors of the leaves change throughout the seasons. Also you can see the truck that we took to bring my and my brother stuff down to Waco.

Another view of the mountains

This was a BBQ place in Missouri. It was just a little trailer sitting in a parking lot.

The sign for the Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, MO. I wish we had time to stop.

One of the many churches we passed along the way.

The McDonald's in Oklahoma you go under it. It stretches across the entire highway.

The Hard Rock hotel and Casino in Tulsa, OK.

Now the rest of the pics are from Thursday. We stopped outside of Oklahoma City, OK and Thursday morning we woke up to thunderstorm and lots of rain.

More rain!!!

Moore, Oklahoma, home of Toby Keith. I didn't take the pic in time to show that on the water tower.

The casino ran by the Native Americans.

Saw lots and lots of flat land through OK. I slept through most of it.

In OK, there were some hilly parts and they had a little road that you could look out. It was just a little small road and they called it a Scenic Turnout.

We stopped at an outlet mall in Texas and they had a food court. Well you can tell by this picture what was there in the food court, nothing!!!

The sign for Texas MotorSpeedway. I was so excited to see this!!





I took a lot of the speedway, Can you tell I love racing?? I can't wait to go to a NASCAR event here!!!

Downtown Fort Worth, my hometown!!

Sorry for all of the pics but I was having fun along this trip. We got down to Waco around 4 pm on Thursday and unloaded the truck and got things set up. Went out to dinner with my brother and our roommate. I will post pics of the house and about going to church tomorrow.