Been a while

I have been so bad with my blog lately. I plan on spending some time this weekend and updated my blog. I will give just a short redown on whats been going on. In the last month I have celebrated my 1 year anniversary, had some friends that have been having some problems. Also I am not sure it is something I am going to make into a post but this past couple of months I have turned into someone I just despises. I used to be this happy upbeat person and lately I come tired, crabby, and just a bitter person. Anymore at work I sometimes get annoyed with people quicker and other days I dont want do deal with anyone. Even driving home, people annoy me more and more. Little things that people do drive me crazy more than usual. Those days I wish I had a tank to either shot out their tires so they can't drive anymore or so I can run over their car. I dont know what the deal is anymore I have a feeling most of it comes from losing my hair. People keep looking at me like I have some type of disease and I hate it. I dont know what is going on and dont worry people you can not catch it.

Also with that I dont feel like I fit in or belong. I know that comes from shutting out my friends and my family, especially my family. I used to be so close with my family and ever since the 4th of July I feel like I have drifted away from them. I hardly ever talk to them and I know I need to but I just dont feel like it. I hate that I have cut myself off from my friends because now I am finally at a point that I am ready to start going back out and the friends that I do have I have pushed away. I am at point too that I am not comfortable with my body. I think I am at my heaviest I have ever been. And I hate that, I just want to feel beautiful and pretty again. I know I have made my husbands life hell because of that. I dont feel like half the time being lovey dovey with him. I just hoping that this mood can change and I can go back to my oldself. So look for more updates this weekend.