Can- What???

So I figured after seeing a new doctor I would write about whats been going on with my health. So most of you know I have been losing my hair and have been really tired. So my mom got a recommendation about this doctor who is environmentalist/allergist doctor who is really good. He is the type of doctor who looks at all of your symptoms and looks what is causing all of those symptoms. So before my appointment I had to fill out a 16 page questionaire if I was having certain pains or symptoms and if so how bad. So this past Thursday was my appointment, and it was a 4 hour appointment. After going through the normal doctor routine, weighing me, taking temp, etc I got to meet with the doctor just asking me some questions. Then he had me go in another room where he examed me some more. He tested my reflexes, felt my thyroid, made me walk in straight line, etc. So we go back to his office and goes over everything with me. It turns out I have a lot going on with my body. The first thing he says is causing my tiredness, pain, not wanting sex, my depression is that I have too much yeast in me. We all have a natural yeast in you call Candida, which is a friendly yeast. I have too many bad yeasts in my body that is harming the Candida. So they did a test for the Candida. I ended up getting stuck 25 times to see what level I need. I still have welts on my arm where they stuck me. That day was hard, I almost passed out.

Second with the doctor he thinks I am not getting enough minerals. Then we are going to deal with my thyroid and then thinks I have a food allergy as well. There was about 11 things he wants to check into but those 4 are the most important to him. So then this weekend they also had me do a magnesium test where Friday I had to collect my urine for 24 hrs. And while I was there yesterday they gave me 2 shots of magnesium ( I got in my hip and man did that 2nd shot they gave me hurt). So then yesterday after the shot I had to collect more urine. They do that to see if I hold the magnesium like a sponge or get rid of it. So now I also have to start taking magnesium tablets as well. Also yesterday I had gone in to learn how to give me shots. I am having to take weekly shots to help with the Candida. I am going to have to take shots, take medicine for the yeast plus take some good biotics plus magnesium. With all of this I am going to have change my diet, which is going to be hard since I have to limit alot of things and cant have certain things. So hopefully of this will make me start feeling better and maybe my hair can come back. I will keep you all updated as more happens.

In Remberance

So on October 5th it was the year 8 year anniversary of my grandfather's death. It was my mothers father that died. I loved my grandpa, though we weren't the closest I still have great memories of him. He and my grandma used to take us on small trips like Lake of the Ozarks, Naveu, IL, Santa Claus, IN, etc and they took us on two big trips to Disney World. My grandpa was the one who taught me to swim on the Kaskasia River. My grandfather was such a great man he would do anything for anyone at anytime. It was so hard over the years seeing him detoriate in health.

My grandpa died during my senior year of high school. The day before he passed, he gone to the hospital since he was having trouble feeling his legs and little did we now that more was going on with him. The next day he had one lung already filled up with fluid and later that morning slipped into a coma. My mom called the school to see if I wanted to go up to the hospital to say goodbye and of course I did. There was a teacher at my school did not want to come get for this phone call. I am not going to go into more detail but it was hard seeing him take his last breath but we knew that his suffering was over. We knew that he was in a better place and we would see him again. It is still hard on that day but each year it gets a little better. I love you Grandpa and I know I will see you again.

Weird night

So tonight was a bit of a weird night. I wasn't feeling good again so I stayed home and tried to go through some things. That way I could lay in bed and still get some things done. So I went out to get the mail and I see this truck just sitting in the street. I was a little weird cause the people were just sitting there and staring. Well I was home by myself and it was starting to get dark and I was a little freaked out. So I hurry up and grab the mail then hurry up to get inside. As I am heading into the house I hear a voice call out to me and say hey stranger. I turn around and it is one of my exes from back when I was younger. We will call him Mr.K.

K's parents and my parents used to go to church together and used to be good friends. My brother and K grew up together there for awhile and used to stay over at each others houses. Heck K's mom made one of my halloween customes. K was my first real kiss and the one who taught me how to kiss. We dated on and off for quite awhile. And throughout the year we had a really weird relationship and very complicated. We ended up breaking up because my parents knew at the time it was not the right relationship for me. I remember sitting at the dinner table and crying because I was so in love with him. I look back it now and realize that was not try love. Just a puppy love, a like. Throughout the years after that we would still hang out and talk and then we just stopped. I can't remember why but it just happened. Then we just started running into each every once in a blue moon. Last time I ran into was at JingleFest this past year. I found out he was getting married.

So you can imagine how weird it was to see him today. I found out that tomorrow he is getting married. We chatted for a little bit longer and he had to leave. After that it just got me wondering what would have happened if I would have married K?? His dad just to joke that when I was younger that I was his future daugther in law. Would I have been happy with him? Would have changed some of his ways with me or stayed the same?? I am happy with my husband and wouldn't change a think. But when you run into a guy who you have had so much history with it just made me wonder what might have been if we would stayed together through all those years.

Music soundtrack for the week

So I thought I would put up the music that I have been really digging for the week. There have been a lot of songs that I have been just keep listening to throughout the week.

First is Pink's So What. I just love this song and for some reason love the beat on this.

Second, is Danity Kane's Bad Girl. I have the cd and love listening to this song.

I just to be a Britney Spears fan when I was younger. Then the last couple albums she has put out I hated. When her new song Womanizer came out, I really enjoyed. It has a great beat and I always want to dance in my chair.

The last one is Taylor Swifts Love Story. I love her music and this one is another smash. I couldnt find a good one to post in my blog.

Been a while

I have been so bad with my blog lately. I plan on spending some time this weekend and updated my blog. I will give just a short redown on whats been going on. In the last month I have celebrated my 1 year anniversary, had some friends that have been having some problems. Also I am not sure it is something I am going to make into a post but this past couple of months I have turned into someone I just despises. I used to be this happy upbeat person and lately I come tired, crabby, and just a bitter person. Anymore at work I sometimes get annoyed with people quicker and other days I dont want do deal with anyone. Even driving home, people annoy me more and more. Little things that people do drive me crazy more than usual. Those days I wish I had a tank to either shot out their tires so they can't drive anymore or so I can run over their car. I dont know what the deal is anymore I have a feeling most of it comes from losing my hair. People keep looking at me like I have some type of disease and I hate it. I dont know what is going on and dont worry people you can not catch it.

Also with that I dont feel like I fit in or belong. I know that comes from shutting out my friends and my family, especially my family. I used to be so close with my family and ever since the 4th of July I feel like I have drifted away from them. I hardly ever talk to them and I know I need to but I just dont feel like it. I hate that I have cut myself off from my friends because now I am finally at a point that I am ready to start going back out and the friends that I do have I have pushed away. I am at point too that I am not comfortable with my body. I think I am at my heaviest I have ever been. And I hate that, I just want to feel beautiful and pretty again. I know I have made my husbands life hell because of that. I dont feel like half the time being lovey dovey with him. I just hoping that this mood can change and I can go back to my oldself. So look for more updates this weekend.

Dear Drivers

Since I have been driving over to Maryland Heights for about 6 months now, I have noticed a few things that drives me crazy about other drivers.

Dear drivers that use the fast lane, the fast lane is exactly for that purpose for faster coming traffic. If you a)are not going the speed limit or b) see that cars are backing up behind you then you need to get over. I understand that at time you were faster than other cars but you can get over especially if it is a two lane high way. This isn't a lets go take a Sunday drive, some people have places to go. If I honk my horn at you that isnt hey hows it going. It means the cars on the other side are going slower and you are too so get over.

Now on the opposite end, dear driver that think they are a Indy car racecar driver. There are speed limits for a reason. I dont mind going when people go over the speed limit, heck I do it, but you dont have to go so fast that you are bout ready to crash into someone or cause accident. If you are that much in a hurry to get somewhere you shouldnt be on the road or you should have left sooner.

Dear police officer, why is that you want to target me when I am driving?? The said two above are going to cause more problems then me. I am not the one who is going 80 to 95 miles weaving in between traffic on the interstate. At most I am going 70 in 65 speed zone. It just gets frustrating when you are pointing your gun at me and the person in the next lane is going faster than me.

I am tired of people that do not know how to use their turn signals. How do I know that you aren't just stopping the middle of the road? And dont get mad when I honk at you for not your turn signal. If you would have used it I wouldnt have to honk at you. So if you follow some of these rules I think would not have problems!!

High School Reunion

So the first Friday of August was my high school reunion. It was a celebrating 25 years of being open and it was not for a certain class. It was a reunion for Governor French Academy. I went there from 1997 to 2001 and had a graduating class of 9. That's right, 9 kids!! In our entire school, which was pre-K to 12th grade there was probably about 200 kids. It was really small school but I would not change a thing. I ended up having the best time of my life. So my best friend Mary Beth met me at my high school and went had dinner before hand in downtown Belleville. It was so good catching up with her and reliving old days. We were also talking about who we wanted to see there and who we didn't. Then we decided we should head on over there and get this sucker over with. We had gone to something like this but when we went was after her sisters graduation and it sucked. We really thought this one was going to be bad. When we got there one of my best guy friends and his girlfriend had shown up. I was so glad to see them. I knew there would be someone else there to talk to besides Mary Beth.
When we got there, there was not alot of people, more teachers than anything. They gave us name tags with our senior pictures and what year we graduated. That was a so embrassing. Throughout the night more people that I knew came trickling in. Then finally my other best guy friend came. I was so excited. Jonathan, Mary Beth, my brother and I were so close throughout the years. My senior year we had date nights with the two Jonathans. He didn't get to come to my wedding which was sad. But I was so glad to see him. Our headmaster or "our principal" took us on a tour of the school. There had been some changes since I had last been there. It was neat remembering though how things had been when I originally started there. While on the tour I ended up dropping my camera. I was so mad that I dropped it. After the tour I stood around talking with old friends. One of my old boyfriends was there. And we ended up having a really good conversation that night. I was really surprised how late I had stayd there since I really thought it was going to be boring. A group of us ended up going to a bar. Mary Beth and I had our normal drink at this bar. It is called a recliner. Basically they take a sandpail and put a bunch of liquor there. We get it every summer because that is the only time they serve it at the location we go to. It ended up being Josh, Mary Beth, Byron and his girlfriend Jesi. Before Byron and Jesi got there Josh had made a comment that he was surprised that Byron and I were friends. That really got me thinking about that. I am not surprised that we have been friends that long. I dont remember how we became friends but I am glad we did. Byron has been there for me over the years, especially during the boyfriend years when I have had boy troubles. I know I haven't been the greatest friend to him but I am so glad he has been there for me and stuck by me throughout the years. So all in all it was a great night.