New blog

Hello to any of my readers out there. I don't know if I have any or not but I have come back to the blogging world. I have been wanting to start doing this but haven't had the time. Now I can get back in the swing of things. I have actually decided to make a new blog. When I started this blog, I was recently divorced and moving to a different state. Since then everything has changed and this blog I feel like it is not appropriate to blog all of that. So hopefully you will come over to my new blog to see what's going on. So here is the link to the new blog . Hope to see you all over there.

Dating

I wish this post was about that I am dating someone but the opposite is true right. In the last couple of weeks I have been getting to a guy. We have been talking and getting to know each other. When we first starting to get know each other, I was so excited to see him. I even got butterflies when I would see him which I hadn't felt in a long time. I loved having a smile on my face, him always seeming to look at me and come talking to me. Well in the last week something has just changed. I still feel those butterflies and the excitement but I feel like on his end I am just someone he can just use. Lately when we have been going out to lunch I have been the one paying, when I made dinner I have to bring him the leftovers. I have given him my number twice and yet he has still not called me. I really needed him this weekend with some things going on but I don't have his number so I had no way to call him. I had no one to talk and yet I really wanted to talk to him. During the last couple of weeks, I just have really loved getting to talk to him and felt so comfortable around him. Today I saw him and I know I had a lot going on but I was so digusted to see him. I didn't want to talk to him at all. I feel like all I am to him is just someone he can use for what he wants or needs. I don't need a friend like that or don't want even a guy like that. I have been down that road with a former boyfriend and I did not enjoy it. And in the end I had my heart broken. I am not ready to have my heart broken again!! There is a song that has been sticking in my mind about how I have been to the last couple of relationships. It is by Taylor Swift and the song is "White Horse". A lot of the song is how I feel about these guys. I just want to find a guy that I am their everything!! Hopefully that will come soon. But here is the song and the lyrics.


Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late to catch me now

Life Changes

So when I moved down to Texas last August, I wasn't sure if I was going to stay down here or what was going to happen. I know part of being down here was to help me to heal after the divorce. During this time of being down here my brother has been dating a girl that works for one of the local television stations. I have always known that at some point that she would not stay in Waco and with that my brother would probably go with her. Well we are at that point where I am going to have to decide what I need to do. Do I go with them?? I love being in Texas being down here. Or do I go back home to Stl??? I love being home and sometimes just feels so right. I have all my friends back home and there is always something to do. I don't know but I do know I need to figure out soon.

Long Time

Man, I can't believe it has been so long since I have blogged. There has just been a lot going on in my life. Been busy working at my job, since March I have been working 11:30 to 8:15 pm and than having to work Saturdays as well. At least I have Sundays and Mondays off which makes it nice because I can relax and run errands and sometimes get the stuff done around the house. During this time I had been saving up all of paid time off so I could go home. I got to go home the last weekend of March which happened to be the start of racing season back at home. The week leading up to going home I kept checking the weather and praying that if there was any rain that it wouldn't mess up the fact that I was ready to go racing. I kept looking forward to going to opening night of the races. If you have read previous blogs or my old blog you know the stock car races play a big part in my life and I had missed being able to go to the races. The night before we left for St.Louis I really should have gone to bed early but for some reason could not go to sleep. We had to leave for Dallas early because our flight left at 7 am. We got into St Louis that Friday at 8:30 it was a really quick flight surprisely! Thank goodness the weather had been good and that day it was gorgeous!!! So I knew the races were on that night. So went to the races that night and got to pray during opening night. Was good to see all my racing friends, was a little weird to see my ex husband but oh well. The only bad thing about the night was that it was freezing cold! Then the rest of the weekend spent time with my family, got to see some friends and got my hair down by my favorite dresser!! After that been working and trying to figure some things out.

More to come

Got a couple of posts out of the way tonight but worn out! There will be more to come this weekend.

Thoughts and Prayers

I always like to see whats going on with the news at home. It is always good to just see what is going on and what changes that happen. But on that same note I hate to read about the violence and crime that happens. It really is upsetting when you read about something that you happen to know the people that it effects. I don't know if any of my readers are in the Belleville, IL/St. Louis, MO area but if you have been following the news about the little 2 year that got beaten by her mother's boyfriend. The guy did it because the little girl wouldn't stop crying. I am sorry but you don't beat a child to get them to start crying, that only makes things worse. The little girl is in the hospital and in critical condition. She had to have surgery to remove some of her intestines and is connected to a feeding tube. They said that if she does survive that she may be have to have a feeding tube for the rest of her life. I know the family of the girl. Her grandparents go to my fathers church. And it just sucks that their grandchild had to go through this. If you guys could not only keep them in your prayers, also please keep this little girl in your prayers. I am posting the links for those who may not have read the stories.

From the Belleville News Democrat
From KSDK
From Stltoday

The Deer vs The "Box"

Yes I know an interesting title for a blog but probably a couple of weeks ago or so I had a very interesting night. It was a typical work day this night got off around 7 pm. Now my drive from Waco to work I do drive on a Hwy that goes through some farm/country area. When I drive home at night, I have never had any problems with any animals running out in the road or seeing animals on the side of the road. Well I was home from work, had just gotten off the phone with my brother. I had come to the part of the highway that I have slow down to 60. I start to see something in the corner of my eye. Before I could turn my head to really see what it was I see in front of my Aztec a deer!! Well it was actually a buck as I recalled later and then driving home from work one night got to really look at it. It definitely had antlers. I pull into the nearest gas station to see why kind of damage was done. During all of this I was shaking. My body was just going crazy. I get out of the car and look at what had been done. I will say this before I go to talk about the damage done to the "Box" but man, does Pontiac make a great vehicle!!! I hit that deer with force, again I was going 60 mph, and there really wasn't a ton of damage. The left side of the car took most of the it and that is where the deer came out of at first. So I look over the damage the left headlight is completely gone, the grill was completely gone, the hood was cracked and popped up. During this I got to go through the process of dealing with my insurance company, getting a rental car and then buying my first car. I am doing this all on my own. I ended up getting a 2005 Hyundai Santa Fe. I like it there are some things I miss that this car does not have like automatic lights that come on, the center console was better and then the automatic seats. I am posting pics from the damage hopefully I can soon post some pics of the new car.

Where the deer first hit.